


It Should Be Me

by Robertdoc



Category: Timeless (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Character Death, F/M, Fix-It, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-05-07 15:31:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14674047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Robertdoc/pseuds/Robertdoc
Summary: A dramatization of what could, and should, have happened in the last half of the Timeless season [not series] finale - and what could and should have happened if the right character had been struck down, and had actually begun to start making up for his vast mistakes before he fell.As that character comes to realize here, it really should have been him - even if his possible salvation is already in motion too.





	It Should Be Me

**Author's Note:**

> Quite honestly, this would have been a far more daring, surprising and narratively courageous way for Timeless to end - for now - than what actually happened. Then again, the same people who ultimately had no narrative courage when it came to Jessica, and who wrongly believed that narrative courage meant sinking Wyatt to such an extent that fans might wish he had died instead, probably weren't capable of thinking this differently. Which is...certainly some way to go as a last ditch case for a new season....  
> Nonetheless, here's one way it could have gone with a bit more imagination - and character fixing....

_“Are you really pregnant?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“Am I the father?_

_“Yes.”_

_“Then WE’RE your family!”_

_And now what could – and should – have happened next…._

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
“What the _hell_ do you know about family?!”

One second she could barely whisper out one word, and in the next she was suddenly yelling out several in long overdue frustration.

Even now, he could still do this to her.

But if now was probably the very last time…she’d better make it count.

“You’ve been tearing apart the only real family you ever had since the _second_ we got in that bunker!”

“Because of you!”

“No!”

Over the years, there were so many arguments between them where Jessica only wished she could have pulled out and cocked her gun to shut him up. Now that she finally could, it was more relieving and rewarding than even she could have imagined.

Mostly.

But she was already wasting enough time without dwelling on that. Now that she had his complete attention, she had to keep going.

Or so she told herself.

Technically, saying all this could really backfire. Things had only worked this well so far because of her husband’s complete, utter, borderline asshat-ish obliviousness. To risk him actually finally getting a clue now….

Maybe she could rationalize it by thinking he would wallow in more misery and guilt than ever after this, and finish off what was left of his team that way. It was honestly a very safe bet at this point.

Maybe the part of her that did still love him wanted to save him from himself, at least a little – if not enough to make a real difference in the big picture. She could be merciful in that small way.

Maybe letting out two marriages worth of anger would give her the courage to kill him after all. Eventually. When it was necessary. If it was.

But if that time was coming in the next minute, hour or century, she might as well get this all out now. Then the maybes would take care of themselves. Hopefully.

“It wasn’t my plan to make you keep hurting Lucy by being near her. Or to make you lash out at her for being with the only thing close to a friend she had left. Or to make you oblivious to how your so-called friend was destined to die. You did that all by yourself. Hell, you did it so well _I_ almost felt sorry for her, and I was supposed to kill her! And you still think you know about family?”

So far, so good. Damned crushed puppy dog look he had no right to use right now and all…

“Family saves each other. Family accepts everything about you, even the worst parts. Family gives you a purpose and their trust, no matter what. _Family_ doesn’t put you on a pedestal, drink and yell when things get messier, or cheat on you instead of having the _balls_ to just admit he should let you go. Or leave you to get killed in another time line!”

That one probably wasn’t necessary, in so far as that she wasn’t the Jessica he did that to. Then again, it was her _real_ family that saved her afterwards, so perhaps it did help prove her point. If that awful – _infuriating_ – puppy look was any indication, maybe it did.

Then so would this.

“And even with all that, I really did love you. Enough that there were a few times I didn’t think I could do this. Especially when you first brought me in and gave me hope you _were_ …different. But then when I saw the old Wyatt back in the next few weeks, especially around her….I knew better.”

“Then when I realized I gave myself away with my brother, and you still didn’t do anything, I should have been relieved! But of course, you had to make me so pissed off too! At you _and_ me! I mean…you’ve been almost nothing but the absolute _worst_ version of yourself, in two timelines, because you couldn’t let me go. Even when you knew you were more in love with your pain, your guilt and your obligation than me! Twice!”

“So how….how could I choose that over people that _really_ love me?”

She was so tempted to ask him how he could expect her to choose that too, but it seemed a step too far. Or maybe she’d taken up too much time already. One of those.

The damage was done by now anyway. Yet that stubborn, perhaps almost as stupid as Wyatt part of her still wished it wasn’t irreparable, even now. In any case, the Rittenhouse part of her finally had room to speak up and remind them they’d stalled long enough.

“I wish it didn’t have to be like this. But I have to protect Rittenhouse. And my baby.”

Her baby. Remembering that did help.

It helped her to keep herself together when she closed the door. When she took that last look at him.

When she remembered that the broken look on his face was still….at least 90 percent his own doing. 85 at the bare minimum.

Everything Jessica had told him – everything she finally didn’t have to hide anymore, and everything he finally had to hear – told her that.

Told her that her time coddling, putting up with and enduring him was finally over. And now it was time to be with – and start – a family that would and had loved her so much better.

Loved her enough to trust her, save her and let her save the world in return. The kind of love he proved to two Jessicas that he didn’t have.

At least not for any of them.

Maybe if Carol had been proved right about her daughter, she would have thanked Jessica one day for sparing her. After she saw the light about that and other things.

But unfortunately, that wasn’t to be either. Although it probably shouldn’t feel all that unfortunate.

That and other things.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
Somehow, Wyatt made himself leave. Somehow, he made himself walk at all.

Somehow, he made it back without banging his head against something – a wall, fist, bullet, whatever – to make himself stop thinking. Feeling. Remembering.

Of course, how he could forget those words?

Especially when every last one of them had already been rattling in parts of his brain he never should have turned off for the last five and a half weeks?

Never should have turned off before she took the Lifeboat. Before they lost Jiya. Before he didn’t talk to Rufus.

Before he hit…

_It should be you._

_It always should have been you._

There it was. It had been a while since he heard from that part of his brain. Of course, after he turned it on for far too long after….the first Jess went, why should he be surprised it was back now?

The only time he thought he might never hear from it again was back in 194….

No. Time to turn it back off again. At least while they were in 1888.

Then he’d have all of what little life he had left to hear from it again….

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
Of course _he_ was there when he found her again.

Of course, even after all this, it took all the effort he had not to do anything…he lost any right to do long ago. In one context, anyway.

Even after everything he heard. Even after he could no longer deny what he always already knew – albeit not before destroying literally _everything._ Even after…

Even after Lucy just lost her own Rittenhouse family member. For good.

_It should be you._

_It always should have been you._

Later, Goddamnit.

By some once in a lifetime act of mercy, he decided to leave the room without a word. With some kind of non-sinister weird look on his face he didn’t think he was capable of. But that would have to be for later too. For once.

For once – for the first time since about 53 years in the future, really – he had to put Lucy first.

“Did you find Jessica? Did she tell you anything?”

And of course, she just had to beat him to it. By actually putting him first even now. Even if it was partly just to distract herself from her own colossal, undeserved pain.

Caused by villains and traitorous loved ones of all kinds.

At least one of them wouldn’t hurt her anymore. In life, anyway. But even the Wyatt of the last several weeks would have known not to say or hint at that.

Maybe.

“Nothing I didn’t already know,” the Wyatt of today made himself say. Then because even this one couldn’t stop himself, he had to add, “If I’d admitted it to myself, to anyone much earlier….then maybe your –”

“No.”

No, there was no way he could let her not blame him. Not this time. But yet again, he just wasn’t fast enough to stop her when she put her mind to something.

This just had to be a rare time it wasn’t a good thing.

“I lost her the second I saw the Lifeboat. When I helped destroy a timeline where she wasn’t Rittenhouse.”

It probably should have been more shameful than it was that it took so much effort not to interrupt her and properly blame Flynn for that. This was one of the rare times where properly blaming him would do more harm than good.

Lucy already paid enough at his hand – and elbow – the last time he didn’t recognize one of those times.

“We both had people we loved who were good before…it was all erased. In a war that had nothing to do with either of them before we came along. So who are either of us to take all the blame?”

It still sounded like she was taking far too much of it on her. As usual.

The difference was that for the first time in too long, he wouldn’t let her.

“The difference is Rittenhouse erased my person on purpose, because they knew _exactly_ how I’d ruin everything when they did,” he started. “You had nothing to do with what happened to yours…and even if you did…”

After weeks of not thinking before he spoke, it took a delicate second for Wyatt to remember how to think his words through again. But he couldn’t afford to be rusty now.

“Even when she was the Carol Preston you knew…even when you fought with that Carol and didn’t want to be like her…you stayed the best version of yourself anyway. Because you’re Lucy Preston.”

Speaking her name with reverence without the self-imposed need to hold back – now that was something he would never fully forget how to do.

“And because I’m me….I was almost always the worst version of myself when it came to her, in two different time lines, for over a decade. Even when the first one was gone,” he admitted.

“Hell...in about 15 years, the only time I’ve ever been the best version of myself was with you.”

Now that was a step forward and about 10 giant steps back.

And the absolute complete truth that he was done trying not to accept anymore.

Still…he could have continued to keep it to himself a little while longer. Instead of continuing to overstep himself like every other damn time he hurt her since that damn text. Hell, this might have been the worst one yet.

This time, even when he finally knew how and why he should have known better, he did it while Lucy had just lost her mother. While Jess was still the rawest wound. While Lucy had every legitimate reason to believe he didn’t meant what he said. While it technically still hadn’t been a full day since he physically hurt her, after weeks of the worst emotional abuse that his own son of a bitch father might have envied…

And while Lucy, being Lucy, could only barely look him in the eye – instead of rightfully calling him out in ways that would have made Jess’s rants look Peace Corp worthy.

Well, when this was over, he was damn well going to find out for sure.

This time he held his words back, only promising to himself that no matter what, when they were both ready, they would talk in the semi-privacy of their own bunker. About _everything_. And everyone. With Wyatt using every Goddamn form of apology and groveling that ever existed. On that day and the next couple hundred thousand after.  
With breaks every so often to do the same for Jiya. And….

“Rufus. Where’s Rufus?” Great, only remembering him now sure didn’t bode well.

Yet once again, Lucy bailed him out when she shouldn’t have had to. Probably less for his benefit, and more from her actual loyalty to friends she didn’t betray. Or her own need for a distracting and much needed win at this moment.

Either one was all he had a right to ask for. If anything.

“We found Jiya, come on.”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
Jess was shooting at him.

She just told him minutes ago that she really had loved him – in between all the anger. Yet here she was laying cover fire at him for Emma.

And if they could actually get a close shot at Emma, that cover fire might turn deadly.

And even knowing all this….Wyatt still hesitated as Jessica made her way up the stairs.

Hesitated, like he had more times than he could count at this point over the last several weeks. Hesitated all those times when something inside him felt so…wrong near her.

Or near Lucy – even if it didn’t feel wrong in the ways he kept telling himself it did.

Or near Rufus in 1863.

Now that hesitation had brought them here. To the brink of Rufus’s supposedly destined death. To all of Jiya’s lost time. To the possibility of his child being raised as just another Rittenhouse cog.

Somehow, as if he was Jiya, he seemed to see all this in a trance as Jessica started to leave. And that wasn’t all.

Somehow, as if he was Jiya, he could see what he was still about to let happen.

He could see a Jess who didn’t hesitate to shoot at him, hesitate even less to shoot at Rufus. Or Jiya.

Or –

_It should be you._

No.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
After all this time of not thinking clearly, Wyatt Logan did the first clear headed thing he had done since Hollywood.

He shot his wife.

But he was still clear headed enough not to kill her.

In perhaps the shot of his life, he aimed perfectly at her upper leg. It made her drop her gun and would keep her from taking another step up before she was surrounded.

But of course, _he_ was ready to go a step further anyway.

“Stop! Don’t kill Jessica!” he got out in time.

“Seriously?!” he whined. “You were just starting to think with the right head!”

“Please!” Wyatt debased himself enough to ask him. “She’s carrying my child!”

As he had in the Civil War and for far too long before that, he blocked out everything that told him Jessica might have been lying to him. But this time it was for a better cause.

In so far that he still thought Jessica deserved to live. Or at least not get killed by Flynn.

Whether that remained true forever…it was time to start finding out for real.

That started by going up the stairs, keeping his gun aimed at Jess, and making sure Flynn was only covering him.

“And she’s going with them,” he continued once Jess could fully hear him. “She’s going back in the bunker, only this time in a cell. Until Agent Christopher gets the _complete_ truth out of her. About Rittenhouse…about _everything.”_

“I guess that works too,” Flynn conceded, as if it was up to him. He even helped get Jess on her feet and bring her back down. Which was pretty much the only acceptable scenario for him to touch his wi-

His….

Not wife.

He didn’t have a wife.

There had only been one night since he grew up in which Wyatt Logan fully let himself think he didn’t have a wife. This was the second.

It shouldn’t have been, for so many reasons, but it was.

He didn’t have a wife.

He had a Rittenhouse prisoner who wasn’t going to commit suicide, who would have no choice but to give them all the intel they needed to win this war – and who would possibly have no choice but to birth a child that wouldn’t be brainwashed by Rittenhouse right from the womb.

That shouldn’t have canceled the rest out. Maybe it still didn’t.

Yet he let himself believe, even if it was days or weeks later than he should have, that it just might.

It was at least….possible.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
Rufus was really alive. Jess wasn’t going anywhere without them. All they had to do was clear out before Emma got any more ideas, and it would all be over.

Except for the part where Wyatt and Flynn had to spend the next 24 hours in 1888 Chinatown.

But Wyatt knew it would be a very long time before he could plausibly complain about all the punishments and atonements to come.

24 hours to prepare for the real start of it – or more likely eight, depending on how much babysitting Flynn needed – sounded fair.

Far more than what he had a right to ask for.

Maybe he could even get the worst of those thoughts out of his head before the Lifeboat came back. Before he let the worst memories and voices get in the way of what he had to say. What he had to do. What he had to hope he could spend the rest of his life trying to get right again.

And this time he wasn’t leaving any damn phones on.

But first, he had to finish getting Lucy, Rufus, Jiya and Jess back to a time with real phones again.

He held onto the wrist of a limping and tourniquet clad Jess, while glaring outside looking for Emma or any other shooters. Rufus was just a little bit out ahead of him, and on the horizon there was….

There was –

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
He didn’t hesitate to let Jess go.

He couldn’t afford to.

Not in the split second where he saw Emma and her gun take dead aim at Rufus.

There was no time in the next split second to get a shot off at her. Not before she….

So there was only one choice. There could be only one when it came to him. He only needed to forget that once to know it now.

So he let Jess go.

He used his free arms to help him cover Rufus and shield him with all his might.

And then he dropped to the ground.

Knowing even then he would never get up from it again.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
Wyatt couldn’t see too much after that.

He could barely hear Emma’s subsequent shots at everyone else, or Flynn’s return fire.

He didn’t see or hear Jess squealing his name. Or see the shock on her face when Emma started shooting at her. Or Flynn’s resigned sigh before getting her out of the way. Or Jiya taking a hold of her so Flynn could draw Emma away.

At first, all he could see and hear was the scared, pleaded face of the man Emma would have killed. The man now desperately trying to cover his wounds, just hours after he swore never to forgive him if the love of his life died.

Now he’ll probably never forgive him for dying instead. And that was just fine by him. As long as he was alive to never forgive him.

Whatever gave Jiya her visions of this moment was wrong from the start. There is and never would be, or could be, a true future where Rufus was gone before him. Should be gone before him. Before any of them.

Maybe not even before….

And then, as always – or at least it should have been always – she was all he could see.

“Wyatt? Wyatt, stay with me! Stay with me, Logan, you’re not going anywhere, do you hear me?!”

Not as much as he should have.

If he had, he would have said this long ago.

“I love you.”

In any other circumstance but this one, saying this right now would have been one final dick move. But now that he wasn’t going to get a lifetime to redeem himself until he had the right to say it….

Besides, waiting was kind of a big part of the problem, wasn’t it?

“If I admitted it in 1918….this never would have happened,” Wyatt coughed out, trying to give something resembling a joking glare to Rufus. But it was no joke. With a few more weeks and missions of real happiness before the text from hell….then maybe…

Or even longer than that….

“Or if I said it….before the Lifeboat blew up….or after I got out of prison….or….”

The literal last-second realizations had to stop them, as Wyatt’s breathing grew shallower and his vision started to fade. What little he had left was now being filled by Rufus, as he continued to hope against all real hope.

“It’s okay, you can tell us more when we get back. You’re gonna tell us more, okay? Come on, this is NOT what’s supposed to happen!”

If Wyatt could have laughed fondly at Rufus now believing in what’s “supposed” to happen, he would have. To think the both of them could have even thought about believing that stuff a year ago….

But Wyatt was certainly a believer now. This was the final bit of proof.

If it had to come, better at the last second than never.

“Yes it is…” Wyatt used what strength he had to correct him. What other strength he had left, he had to take one more good look at Rufus, at a crying Jiya….

At Luce….

Jess wasn’t even in his line of sight anymore. Truth be told, no one was looking at her. It wouldn’t have been necessary to keep an eye on her, since she couldn’t have gotten far on her wounded leg. And since it appeared anyone she could have run to would have probably been ordered to kill her by now.

And since she couldn’t bring herself to look away from the dying form of the man she – once? – loved. Or compose herself to even say one last word – of apology or otherwise – to him.

Even if she had forgotten that it wasn’t her place anymore.

In any case, for this one moment, she, Lucy, Rufus and Jiya were united in watching Wyatt, and struggling to block out the inevitable.

Yet while they could only see one person, that person had his eyes on three.

And every part of his soul on one of them.

“You’re all safe….that’s all I really needed….”

And it was.

Now they had Jiya back – a Jiya who clearly learned a lot of new skills. She would probably go on to kick more ass in missions than he ever could. As if she couldn’t already do that in so many other ways before…

Now they had Rufus, with Jiya again, and without a death sentence from the space time continuum. He would keep everyone together better than he ever could….and even if he’d been too distracted lately to pick up Lucy in healthier ways than he could have, he knew he wouldn’t forget again. He would keep her safe and make her laugh and make sure she was never alone again….

She really had everything now.

No more Logans to ruin her. No more Rittenhouse family members to torture her. And if nothing else, Flynn could at least be somewhat trusted not to try and kill her again. With all that and so much more that made her Lucy Preston…

….Rittenhouse was more doomed right now than he was.

It really had all worked out. For everyone but Wyatt.

But that had stopped being an unjust thing for some time.

“Don’t you see?” he hoped to assure her….them….

“It should be me….”

Every time he told himself that – and it had been more times than he could count for the six years before Flynn’s theft – it was out of guilt, rage, alcohol or self-hate. Yet now that it really and finally was him….

….he felt more at peace than he ever could have imagined.

Because it really should be him right now. There was no other way that worked. And it wasn’t out of misplaced guilt, misplaced love or a misplaced life. But for them. For him.

And her.

“It should be me….”

And for the first time in his life, Wyatt Logan truly accepted fate. Not with bitterness, bargaining or regret. But with contentment. With a death that both made sense and actually meant something.

A death for the people he loved. For the brother he never had. For the girl who wasn’t one of the most brilliant and courageous people on Earth because of any powers.

For the most inspiring commanding officer he’d ever known, and even for the billionaire who, for better or worse, made all this possible. _Maybe_ even the other man who did too.

And for….

For….

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
Everything was in a blur after that.

Even when Lucy left his body – _him_ – in a frantic dash after Emma. Even when he passed Flynn’s unconscious body halfway through the chase. Even when she found _her_ and had her at gunpoint.

Even when she acknowledged her as the person who took everything she loved. Amy, her mother….him…

Even when she had the gall to ask for her life anyway.

Even when she pulled the trigger. And nothing happened.

But it was only when Emma started punching her that it really started to sink in. When there was nothing she could do anymore to hide from it. When she didn’t have the strength left to do anything but listen to her mocking evil speech.

“I didn’t take anything from you that you hadn’t willingly abandoned. _Especially_ your Wyatt.”

Her Wyatt….

At that point, she almost thought her brain was playing a cruel joke, when she heard the voice of the first person to say that phrase.

The person who started this entire nightmare….

….and yet once Emma was gone, Lucy found herself more upset at the person who had finished it. Or rather, both of them.

The woman who got away again, and the woman still here right now.

She didn’t know what to do with that. She didn’t know what to do about anything.

She couldn’t….she couldn’t….

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
Eventually, Lucy could finally move without Flynn’s assistance. She would have had to soon enough anyway, since he was the only one who’d need to stay behind for a day in 1888 now. To his credit, he didn’t object, and promised that he would bury Wyatt properly before they picked him back up.

He even resisted the urge to joke about how Wyatt would have called that his first torture in Hell. That may have spoken more about his devotion to Lucy than anything he might have said to her before Wyatt returned.

Whatever the proper measurement was, he could only watch as Lucy, Rufus and Jiya escorted Jessica into the Lifeboat. As Jiya made certain that Jessica didn’t sit in the seat reserved for another Logan.

Nonetheless, Lucy was too numb by now to acknowledge that small bit of mercy. And numb she stayed even as the Lifeboat returned to the bunker. Even as Agent Christopher hugged Jiya and Mason hugged Rufus before they noticed they’d only seen one Logan so far.

Even when they realized why, and even when Agent Christopher – Denise – hugged Lucy when she put it all together, Lucy’s tears refused to fall all over again.

But after Mason frantically proposed one too many solutions that wouldn’t work, and after Jiya erupted at him and at all of them for not listening to her, Lucy couldn’t hold back her own eruption any longer.

Not even when Jiya took Denise’s place in hugging and apologizing to Lucy, or when Rufus joined in.

For her part, Denise was too frozen in her own grief to feel like she could do much of anything now.

Except get the one responsible for all this out of their sight. Hopefully for good very soon.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
As she led Jessica away from them, Denise’s own anger and her own tears that threatened to build up kept her from looking right at her new prisoner.

If she had glanced at Jessica, it’s possible she wouldn’t have really been able to see everything anyway.

Like the hollow look in her eyes. The undried tear marks below them. The lack of color on her face. And whether more of it was due to the loss of one family or the other.

Whether the greatest loss she felt was for the family that would now want her dead so she wouldn't talk, even after everything she gave to them – or for the family she helped kill herself.

And whether any of that was more haunting to her than the even blanker look on Lucy’s face during the trip back.

Jessica never thought she’d have to answer any such questions just an hour ago. Now, they might be the only questions she could dare to let herself answer in here. Or wherever else they may send her.

Even then, she didn’t know if those questions would be more damning to answer than anything Agent Christopher could ask.

But she might have to spend the rest of her life trying to find out. Which wouldn’t be long if Emma got here soon to finish her and everyone off. Given that she already told her where the bunker was before her little coup, it might well be very soon.

Jessica didn’t feel any overwhelming urgency to warn them right now. As if they would listen to her. Agent Christopher would surely figure it out soon anyway, but the thought didn’t make Jessica feel any safer. And not because of Emma or any power she thought she had now.

The shock over the betrayal of Emma and Rittenhouse had only just started to settle in. Yet now, Jessica didn’t know if she wanted them to finish her off before the scope of her own betrayal settled in next. That and all the words that were said before then.

If not for the baby, there would only be one possible answer to that question.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
Rufus found Lucy sitting alone hours later. Probably found her too late to make any kind of difference.

Which said it all, really.

Said more than he’d dared to say to her when it really could have counted. Maybe then…

“The last thing I told him before….I said he was too wrapped up in his Lucy-Jessica soap opera to notice anyone else,” Rufus recounted with shame after sitting down. “Who was I to say that, really? It was true, but who was I to say that?”

He probably gave up all rights to it the second he shared a laugh with Wyatt about his sex life, with Lucy in earshot. But there was no need to be that specific about it now. If only for her sake.

“If I wasn’t so wrapped up in the future, or just one part of the present…I could have seen what a jerk he was being so much earlier. I could have noticed how you were hurting so much earlier. Maybe if I had done _something_ to help bring all this to a head much earlier, it might have been so different. Maybe it could have all gotten exposed before she ever thought about taking Jiya! Hell, we know nothing’s set in stone now! Maybe I could have helped proved it long before he had to…”

Now the dam that Rufus had barely put back together was threatening to spill over again.

“But he didn’t have to. I _know_ it wasn’t supposed to be him…even if he didn’t know,” Rufus choked out. “He probably thought I hated him at the end too…but as pissed as I was, I never wanted…”

Now he only had the strength left for one or two more confessions. “Before 1888, he failed me and Jiya and all of us… _big_. But in a way, I kinda failed him first….and I think I failed you too…”

Lucy shook her head immediately, yet it wasn’t enough to stop his tear drops. He barely got out an apology before she took his hand, squeezing it with as much love, understanding and solidarity as she did when he asked her “What am I becoming?”

It seemed like it was many many lifetimes ago now. But some things still hadn’t changed. This was one of the rare ones that stayed the same for the better.

Others, far less so….

“My mom….my _real_ mom…” Lucy started, pausing until Rufus was able to look at her. “I never learned how to really stand up to her. Not like Amy could. Because I never knew what I wanted other than the life she planned for me. I never let myself figure out how to fight for it. I never thought I had a right to. Even when the timelines changed and she changed….that feeling never did. Only it carried over into something else.”

“Or someone else,” Rufus realized out loud for her.

“You’re not the only one who didn’t speak up when it could have mattered. Who was too wrapped up in her own pain and problems to try. I just didn’t think….” Lucy struggled to gather her rationalizations – her useless damned to hell rationalizations – one last time.

“She was his wife. She was his whole reason for living, or not living, when we met him. No matter how right or wrong he realized that was,” Lucy added. “Compared to all that…to just one night….to someone whose own mother never chose her, unconditionally, in any timeline….how could I ever let myself think I could be enough?”

“Lucy….” Rufus voiced, his broken heart literally lodged in his throat.

“That’s my real legacy. Not Rittenhouse,” Lucy concluded. “It’s someone who never let herself fight for what she wanted…. _who_ she wanted….and now three people are gone because of it…”

Now it was Rufus’s turn to hold Lucy’s hand and bring her close, although he didn’t know how much good it did. In between her sobs and deep breaths, she seemed to be muttering words….words that seemed to sound out “No more…”

If anyone had the right to say that, it was Lucy. And as much as he couldn’t afford to lose anyone else, if she really wanted no more, the very least he could do was help her be free. 

Maybe Agent Christopher could arrange something in Witness Protection, or maybe even Connor could use any last connections he had left…

“No more…” Lucy repeated, and it took a while for Rufus to realize there were less tears behind it now.

By the time she said “No more” again and looked back up at her, her tears were gone.

So were a lot of emotions and feelings he was used to seeing in Lucy’s eyes.

“I know what I need to fight for. And I have nothing left to talk me out of it now,” Lucy practically commanded. “We have Jessica. She’s pregnant and Rittenhouse wants her dead now, so she has no choice but to talk to us. Then we’re gonna get Emma, we’re gonna get every single one of them….and then we’re gonna bring him back.”

“Bring him back?” Rufus repeated incredulously. “You know we can’t….Connor and Jiya just reminded us we can’t go back to places we’ve already been.”

“Not yet….but we will,” Lucy lit up and smiled in a way that didn’t resemble her normal “light up and smile” face. “I know for a _fact_ that we will….and when Flynn gets back, I’ll make sure he tells me even more.”

“Flynn? What are you….”

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX  
But Rufus couldn’t finish his question, even if he really knew the ending to it.

Not when 10,000 more questions suddenly popped up right next to the Lifeboat.

In the form of another Lifeboat.

In the form of another….

It was so crazy, seeing a bearded Flynn next to a…Tomb Raider version of Lucy was one of the least of his questions. The least of anyone’s, really.

Then there were the questions raised by not seeing a bearded or video game version of himself there too. Briefly, Rufus feared if the visions got their original sacrifice in the end after all.

But then those questions were interrupted by two more.

First Bearded Flynn asked, “Well…what are you waiting on?”

Then came a question from a Lucy that looked and sounded like nothing they ever knew. Yet.

“You guys want to get Wyatt back or what?”


End file.
